As a reflective thinker, I spend a LOT of time thinking about the moments of change and a bit of the “what if” moments. Those defining moments that changed the course of who you turned out to be – the people you’ve met, the books you’ve read, the car accidents that you would have missed if you’d just left the house a second later … and today is my 46th birthday, so you can guess what I have been doing!
Sure, as a single parent, at the start of a new school year, I’ve been doing all of the things that need to be done, including the very new concept for my small human – homework! She’s not a fan – yet …
In what has turned out to be a ‘turning point’ kind of week in our world, which my Lawyer was optimistically predicting, I think about the moment I read the book called Psychopath Free by Jackson McKenzie, and this book really made me think about the way that I view relationships – friendships, intimate partner relationships and parental dynamics – and this book ultimately led me to ‘sign a friendship contract with myself’ to review ALL of my relationships every month. I couldn’t have imagined the impact that book has continued to have – and how many times I have recommended it – on every aspect of my life. One chance meeting of a person in an Autism Course in a regional town in Australia many years ago, and a brief conversation about a book with a green cover … that moment changed me!
Or did it? Because in the true nature of reflective thinking, you start to realise that change only happens if you are prepared to accept it. I also had to head to the mechanic this past week, for a warranty issue with my car. The mechanic had told me what the issue was – an issue with the internal wiring in the brake lights – but the gentleman at the mechanic was kind enough to inform me that while it was that, the REASON it happened is that I consistently drove too fast over rough terrain! Damn, the guy hadn’t met me before, and he already worked out that I don’t like slowing down for speed bumps!
So, while I sit here reflecting about that I am likely more that half way through my years (shocking realisation), I realise that yes, there is often an impact from choices or events (car has to be repaired, partner moves out), but there is also a significant number of times where nothing happens. You can read a book, have a conversation with your child, drive to the shops and eat dinner and NOTHING happens – it’s insignificant, or so it seems. Until it isn’t. I may have just clued into the difference between ‘living’ and simply ‘existing’! 😀
It’s our choice to grow, and change.
Doing Life Differently 